My Brother Is Here

 I can't believe that in 5 months I am going to be married. There will be another Labonoski in the world. Oh God. It's scary. But, I guess it is okay. My brother, sister and I are talking about a Disney themed wedding for my sister and her boyfriend. Flinn, my brother would be Peter Pan and he would prance around all gay like. But, that is to be expected. Natalie's and I's wedding doesn't have a specific theme. Just a color theme. Which is all the same. Blue, white and silver. We have been planning since we got engaged almost a year ago. But, unfortunately we don't have the funds to afford everything we want. But, who ever does? So, we will have the traditional cheap wedding. But who cares. I just care that we are getting married. It is such an odd thing to think about. We have been together for just over 2 years. And, we have knows each other for just over 5 years. It is just weird to think about. We have also tried for a baby. Twice. With no luck, unfortunately. But, one day we will have beautiful children. My brother, Ben is going to be our donor. That way the children will actually have my blood. But yeah, I don't know what else to talk about. My niece is 5 months now. And she is the cutest thing in the world. She is literally the second love my life and the second most important thing in my life. I can't thank my sister enough for having a beautiful little healthy baby. So, although people don't always do this, I thank her for having sex. Even though we don't exactly like the person she did it with. Just another dead beat 'father' in the world. But yano. Anyways, though I know not many people read this, I am going to try and keep this up more. So, I will leave you for now. But, I will be back soon. See you around, A Lively Word. 

Accept Me

Today is Christmas. So, Happy Christmas! So much has happened since the last time I wrote. And, to be honest, I am not even sure when the last time I wrote was. .-. But, I got a new laptop finally, yesterday. So, hopefully now I will be able to keep on it. Because, I love to write, which was the whole intention of this blog to begin with. But, anyways, how have you all been doing and how have your lives been. I know I probably don't get a lot of people looking at this. But, I still like to ask, and I like to pretend that I am being asked, as well. Well, I can't even remember if I covered this is any other blogs that I have posted. But, either way, I am going to cover it now. As you all know I have identified as gay for well over 4 years now, openly. But, I would just like to inform you all that as well as me being attracted to woman, I also now self identify as a male. So, as far as I know, I may not have talked a lot about this, But, I do know that in the beginning of me making blogs, I did introduce myself with my birth name, being Crystal Labonoski. But now I am referred to as Crystopher Ridley Labonoski. Or, Cry for short. Which is basically what everyone calls me, Especially the people who have not quit adjusted to the change. But, I rarely ever hear my birth name anymore and I cannot express to me how much I love it. And, I can't say enough how much I love everyone who is fully accepting to me. But, I will make an entire other blog about that. This more of an update, not an explanatory. Anyways, remember the girl Natalie that I have previously mentioned as the love of my life? Well good. Because she still it. We have been going 2 years and some days strong now. And, today is our 3rd Christmas together. And in other good news, tomorrow morning we will find out if she is for sure pregnant, Because we inseminated.  And, my brother was thoughtful enough to be our donor. That way my baby would be from my bloodlines. And, I just cannot wait to find out. But, I am going to cut this short and say goodbye now. I will be back soon. I hope you have wonderful holidays. Signing off, ~A Lively Word.

Reliving The Past

It really sucks reliving the past. 5 months ago, My mother and I finally had moved away from Dave's(my moms ex) house, and into one of our own. Well, apartment. Same thing. And we were good. Granted, it did take some string pulling to get into the apartment to begin with. But, before we moved in, we stayed with my grandmother for a couple of days while we were waiting to receive all of the money for the apartment. So, we got everything figured out with the apartment, and moved in only about 4-5 days after seeing it for the first time. So, that was that, We packed all of our stuff, and we were gone. And, it felt good, you know? To finally be away from the man I despised the most and to be with just my mother. If I remember correctly, we moved in on the 6th of April.It was literally, like the best day I have had in 11 years. On my first night there, my mom had to work. She worked over night shifts at WalMart at the time. So, conceivably, I would be spending the first night moved in, alone. But, luckily for me, my best friend, Krissy lived right down the road. So, she actually came over, and we got to spend the night together, on my first night. From there on out, Krissy came over every weekend. See, this is where people will probably think, "Oh hey. happy ending. Woot.:D" But, no. It's not like that. See, eventually, and also unfortunately, Krissy and I started to part a little bit. And, it was sad, of course. And then after that, things just seemed to have gone down hill. Not long after, Mom and I had gotten evicted from our apartment. That was actually two weeks ago. We had gotten everything our of the apartment in one night. Which was kind of awful. Seeing as how we didn't sleep at all, and my mother had work at 5 in the morning. So, we spent one week in the motel that we had stayed in back in winter. We only stayed a week because, the cost for a two bedroom room for one week was 290. That is including tax. And that alone, took both of mine and my moms paychecks. She had only about 20 dollars left and that had to be used for gas. After a day at work, my mo returned to the motel and told me that Dave had and her talked. And he knew about the situation with the motel and what not. So, he told her that if her and I needed to, we could move back in with him. And after everything, you would thing that she would automatically say no. But, she didn't. Instead, she told him that she had to talk to me about it first. And she did. And as soon as she brought it up, I said no. I mean, I suppose it is a nice gesture and all, but I did not want to go back there. I was finally free of him after 11 years. I was done being his little maid. And someone for him to scream at all the time. I wasn't going to be his punching bad anymore, either. She continued to try and talk up the idea for two days. Until finally, I said yes. And I did not say yes because I didn't think her and I could handle paying for the motel every week or anything like that. I said yes because I knew that she would not stop talking about it until I said yes. I said yes for her. Because, I also knew that no matter how many times I said no, we would end up back there anyways. Because that is how it always works. So, we have no been here for about 4 days. I think. I hate it. So, I spend all of my time at work. Or at least try to. I just hate having to be back here after I promised I would never return. But, I do know that as soon as I can, I will be out of here.
I am so sorry for my mindless banter. I think what I am trying to get at is, don't let others decide your future for you. You have to decide what is right for you, by you.
Signing off, A Lively Word. 

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Reassure Me.

Do you ever feel like a burden to the one who loves you most? Even when everyday, they tell you how much they love you, and want to spend forever with you? Do you ever feel that when that person is with their friends, they do nothing but talk bad about you? Or even, when you, her, and all of your friends are all together, and you leave the room, or aren't in hearing distance, you still feel that way? I do. Most times. I don't know why. I just, I always feel like she's talking about me. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, no where near, but, I also know I shouldn't be talked about. Y'know? Now, I'm not saying she's doing it, I just feel it. I just, don't want to feel like a burden or bother. That's all. Signing off, A Lively Word.

Welcome To My Life.

Hello friends. I feel the need to update you guys on my life. Things have been quite interesting to say the least. Dave kicked my mom and I out of the house again. We started out staying with his mother, Sally for a couple of days. Technically. I only slept there one night. You see, my mother works at McDonald's, the over night shift. And, the nights were long and cold, and she would have had to walk back to Sally's house from work. Because, we had no vehicle. So, I went to work with her and stayed there over night, that way she didn't have to ensure that long walk my herself. The third night, I went to work with her, then we came back to Sally's, and I went to my grandmothers house because it was Christmas time. I stayed until Saturday the day after Christmas. When I came home, my mother and I went to a motel. We're there got a week. We have to get out in two days, with no where else to go. I have been spending the past, three days at my best friend Susan's house. And let me tell you, I am so thankful for that. Although, I don't like leaving my mother alone in the motel. But, we will be together again Tuesday. I don't know if any of you care about this stuff. But, this is my ranting time. Thank you for your time, I guess. Signing off, A Lively Word.

Happy Christmas.

Happy Christmas to everyone out there! I hope all of you are having a marvelous day.
Also, I would like to ask all of you to keep the many people who had lost their lives last Friday in the Sandy Hook shooting, in your prayers. Even if you don't pray, keep them in your hearts. Everyone deserves a Christmas wish.
Love you all. Signing off, A Lively Word.